I experience time and place to bring you delight!
Find some interesting things you have around your home. Lay them out and observe the lines, patterns, colours, hues… Once you know them, assemble them several different ways. When you know the one that makes you feel pleased, photograph it. I love the camera on my Iphone6! Apps I use repeatedly to alter and enhance my work include Snapseed (indispensible), Effects Studio, and DistressedFX. None of these are difficult to use and the results are just so much fun!
It’s been an odd day. I was supposed to be resting but….
⇐ This is how it felt.
Men. Misogyny. Mistrust. PTSD.
It was a struggle to get back up after I “broke down”. I’m not quite there yet and today was a reminder.
I had a rough sleep. Nightmare. Bad stuff happens to me in the night and wakes me in a state of panic. It takes a while, still, to calm myself and get back to sleep. And then, acid reflux. Almost as bad as a nightmare because it hurts for real so much. It’s stress related.
Yesterday I was told that my disability coverage may end soon. That’s obviously a big issue for me. I have a mortgage, debt exacerbated by having to pay for my care, and the regular day to day expenses of life.Scary stuff. I am working two days a week and barely managing it. I’d have to go back at least four days to make ends meet and well, that’s not something I can think about right now.
But back to today. First, a lovely young woman courageously shared her story of depression and her mother’s bipolar disorder.Second, in a phone call I was told the Woman’s March was stupid. Obviously by someone who had never been sexually assaulted or had experience in being the recipient of mysogyny. After a third, personally troubling bit of information, I lost it. Breath couldn’t hold me together anymore. I felt the inner shaking, spinning, and fear take me over. I didn’t fight it. I cried. I allowed it to happen and to pass. Thankfully, I was at home and not at work.
After a cup of tea and some quiet time, I ran to my studio and got into the paint. I always tell my students to climb right into their books when they read, to lose themselves in story. I do that when I paint. I just paint. No plan. No agenda. Just paint and see what happens. Today it was a little bit of a thing. Red. Orange. Black. Fiery colours that come out of me when I’ve experienced panic. It was a little bit of a thing that reminded me of an email I’d received that morning. I’m on Chris Cade’s list. Today, he’d forwarded something. A little lesson in saying…fuckit…When I’d read it, I was somewhat taken aback, but how serendipitous to receive it today; on a day when I needed permission to let things go.
I’ve kept my heart open by listening with the taps open.
Thank-you, serendipity.
Sherri Jean McCulloch 